I found out the big present is not a guitar. I was envisioning myself sitting around a campfire, being the cool girl with a guitar. Or maybe I could retire the air guitar and make some real noise. Poop.
Christmas is kind a big deal for me. I'm a total Jew, so this is completely contradictory to, well, everything for me. I never celebrated Christmas until I moved to California to be with my agnostic boyfriend and his Buddhist mother. Go figure. Christmas was pretty much a non-eventful day for me. It was so non-eventful that I have no childhood memories of it...not even going out for Chinese food.
I enjoy decorating a tree. I enjoy getting fake snow and piling presents under it. I enjoy cooking and eating all day until I can take no more. It's the one day, I really, extra specially enjoy being a gluttonous consumer with no qualms.
Tomorrow is Cirque du Soleil. After returning some shirts to the mall yesterday, I wandered back into my new favorite store, Kohl's. The mega sales were too hard to resist. I got myself a really cute dress to wear to Cirque.
Sunday is the mochi pounding at the Buddhist temple. I go every year (save last year as I was celebrating in CO). They make delicious soup and fresh mochi. Any event with the bf's mom takes all day, so a couple hour event will somehow turn into all day...and I still have not done my laundry.
Monday is my bf's birthday. He's working, so it's gonna be a late night birthday celebration. He likes his celebrations very small (which is part of the root issues with him), so it will be him, me and his mom...again.
Not to sound cranky about the stuff going on here, but I do want to express a small amount of annoyance that the next four days will be spent with bf and bf's mom. It can get a little under my skin sometimes.
I managed to hit the gym yesterday, and it looks like I lost two pounds. That's either from a)taking off my shoes this time when I went on the scale, or b)being done with my period. Whatever it may be, I was happy to see a couple of pounds gone, but I'm really unsure which part of my body that came from. Everything still looks the same?
Each day has its ups and downs. It's so strange to be feeling such a range of emotions, and interesting to review my blogs to see how often they change. I am so curious to read these blogs six months from now, from a totally new mental (and physical) space.
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Merry Christmas Dangerdo!
ReplyDeleteI was so eagerly waiting to hear what the present was under the tree... While it would have been fantastic to get a guitar, I don't think that your current relationship status doesn't really set you up for getting one. Sorry. Plus, you wouldn't want to get the guitar and feel even more attached to him than you are now. When it's the right guy, you'll get the guitar or that perfect gift. Of course, that's coming from someone who is single. But, I like to keep hoping Prince Charming is out there. ;)
Don't question the weight. Just be happy! :) As for the emotions, I know what you mean. I was thinking last night, I want to move too. I want my own things and do what I want to do. But unlike you, I don't know where I want to move to. So, I'm stuck until I can get the courage to make a decision. I have no direction in my career, my location, my relationships, but I want some. :( I'm so scared 2010 is going to the be the same old same old stuff unless I make drastic changes. But what do I change? Anyways, I admire the clarity of your goals.
Keep us posted...
Munchkin
Hi Munch,
ReplyDeleteHappy holidays to you. I know what you mean about getting the right present with the right person. The bf situation is complicated. How could it not be after so many years with a person? There is no hate, a lot of love, and we still want to be happy even in our current circumstance. My mind is in constant conflict of thinking about someone else, while with him, so I am very much anticipating being single for awhile!
I think when you know what the right decision is for yourself, you will just know it, if that makes sense. It took me a long while to get to this point where I feel I finally have some clarity in my decisions. Within the past three years, I drastically changed my career, enrolled in school, and made some drastic relationship choices, but here I am and I'm going with it.
I wish you the best of luck in 2010 and hope you will find the courage to make the changes you want to make for yourself.