Good Morning Sun

And I do mean good morning! The sun shines directly into my room, which makes for a pretty glow in my room, but damn it does make it a little rough to sleep in. Not that I sleep in much these days -- my body on its own accord has decided to create a "get your ass out of bed really early" alarm. I think my body let me sleep in once until 10:00 a.m., and it was very lovely.

Did I mention that I'm reading a fantastic book called "Eat, Pray, Love." Now my grammar has gotten the best of me, and I can't remember if I am supposed to put quotes or underlines around book titles. Well, this blog won't allow for underlining...well, at least I sure don't know how. Anyway, the book is pretty much love for me. An early/mid-30's woman starts getting warning signs of an existential crisis. She has it all -- the husband, the job, the house, etc. When she thinks of children, she knows that a conventional life is not for her. The book details her journey to 3 different places around the world, and the piece of her that each place satisfies, such as Italy = Pleasure, India = Devotion, and Bali = Balance. I love, love, love this concept. Although I have to admit that the Pleasure portion of the book has been my favorite so far. I"m almost through the book, and she apparently has a follow-up book that is more down to earth, called "Committed."

So much for my daily practice of this blog. So, I'm a big fat liar. Speaking of big and fat, today shall be a physical day extraordinaire! When I get the umph to get going to the gym, I will go...then a pool party in the early afternoon, and a "friend's" party, which also involves a pool, in the later part of the afternoon. Yes, dissolved calories, you are not even a gleam in my eye.

So as for the updates...

Work: Wow, did I get fucking lucky or what? I mean, just wow. I work in a beautiful, but practical and down to earth office. It's 3 levels (I guess the 51 story skyrise was not in my cards), with the bottom floor a large, marbled atrium and a bank attached. Who cares about level 2, and level 3....ahhh sexy level 3, keeper of my rent checks, food money, and new pair of shoes. There are two attorneys in the office, but I work for one guy, and the rest of the staff works for the other guy. We are all in one large office, so I do get to gossip with the girls. Oh, what a nice change from the solo office of my last job (although at the time, I did not mind it). My boss, well, my big worry was getting an angry, abusive attorney...and my boss, I am happy to report, is neither angry nor abusive. In fact, he's pretty darn sweet, but he knows how to get down to business. I got very lucky. I also get to learn new areas of law, in addition to learning law in a new state. Overwhelmed? Of course. Excited? Absolutely.

School: NOT A FUCKING THING! Oh, haha, hehe, that makes me incredibly happy. My folks are sending over my paralegal certificate, which notes that I graduated with honors, thank you very much. What a pain-in-the-fucking-asshole that whole thing was, but very, very rewarding. And, I was put up on the school's website, with a little blurb titled "East Coast Success" or something of the like. But, I did have a dream last night of getting my Masters, which would of course mean I finish my Bachelors. So, maybe this will be a little project for me. I wonder if my credits from SFSU transfer to NJ schools...if so...the task would not nearly be as daunting.

Activity: Join kayaking group. Check. Love it. Join creative writing group. Check. Love it. Join paralegal group. Check. Love it. So, yeah, I really couldn't think of another way to meet people around this part of the country. Sure I have family (anywhere from within a 30 min-1.5hr radius), friends (another 40 mins to an hour away), but I needed to meet people HERE, locally. So, I'm slowly but surely checking out different groups and feeling things out. The kayak group is fantastic. I would go much more often if I had my own kayak, since many places they meet do not offer rentals. But, when the opportunity arises, I'm there. I've been twice in 1.5 months, so not a bad thing. Ahhh, the creative writing group. I went to my first meeting last Tuesday. They met at a mexican grill, much like a more fiesta-y version of Subway. Not to be alarmed though, the food was tasty, although the queso dip resembled that of Chili's, which was not so tasty.

I attended "Treasure Chest" night, which consisted of a group of us passing around this large treasure chest and picking out prompts for storytelling. I loved my prompt, and we spent maybe 30 mins or an hour (I lost track of time), writing, and then we got to share our stories around the room. I really enjoyed the concept, and very much enjoyed the people I met. I do want to chime in here with a very personal shout out to New Jersey, and I want to squash this rumor now. NEW JERSEY PEOPLE ARE NOT RUDE. IN FACT, THEY ARE MUCH MORE FRIENDLY THAN PEOPLE I HAVE ENCOUNTERED IN FLORIDA AND CALIFORNIA (generally speaking of course). There, I said it. People here are...NICE. And...FUNNY. I have yet to meet a truly nasty person here. Hello, Tangent, it seems I found you again.

So the creative writing group is having a pool party today, and I'm going dammit. I'm a sucker for swimming, and the weather is not letting me off the hook with her heat and pretty skies. I've been spending maybe a day or two down the shore. Wow, I said down the shore...this is something that New Jersians say when they are going to the beach. Once they are down the shore, they go to the beach. Apparently, the beach locals don't call it the shore, they call it the beach. Very confusing indeed. My friends rented out a cute townhouse about 3 blocks from white sandy beaches and water. And, they are also about 5 minutes away from Atlantic City. Not a bad place to be, at all.

I keep forgetting that I've only been here for about 1.5 months, I mean just wow.

But, my wrist is cramping up, and time is slowly ticking, and that gym is calling my name. So adios!

Here we go!

So, I am officially employed. Well, not officially as in that I've started work, but officially in that I was offered a job, and I accepted it. This is with interview #3, and I couldn't be more pleased. I need a job to balance the very swift pace of my daily depletion of funds. Oh, it's ugly, but hey, I need wood polish and lint rollers, right? Oh, and a GPS. Can I just take a moment here (I will anyway), and express my gratitude for my Insignia GPS? ***********moment of gratitude***********
I have apps, google, and I can now stop my daily harassment of my friends for driving directions.

So today is a gym day for me. Now that I'm getting settled here in NJ, I figure it's time for some normalcy again. My life has been anything but normal since my big move, so I'm ready for a little routine yet again. It's a toss up at this point between two gyms -- Bally's or Retro Fitness. I have yet to go inside either, which I will do today, but after digging on their online sites, I'm at a draw. If Retro had a pool, I would have been immediately sold. I really wanted my gym to have a pool. I love dunking in the water, and to be able to do that whenever I want, oh man, that sounds just great. However, Retro is not your typical steroided out gym (whereas I expect Bally's to be). There is an actual movie theater in the gym. That's right, a freaking, MOVIE THEATER, IN THE GYM. This excites me to no end. I'm a huge movie buff, so this is a total score. What to do, what to do? I suppose I just need to get on in there and check out these puppies. There are worse problems to have in life.

I am trying to keep myself busy and motivated with the groups I've joined. I recommend Meetup.com to anyone new to an area, or anyone who just needs a social pick-me-up. My area seems to be a very active area for which I am thankful. I'm in 10 different groups, ha! But, I've only been to a kayaking event, which was fanfuckingtastic. I've vowed to commit to this group since I have a history of hard passion and then burnout. But, I'm taking it slow with the kayaking. I'm not running off to buy a kayak just yet, but maybe sometime down the road.

I was tempted today to go back and read my first post, you know, from December '09. I'm not sure I'm ready for that just yet. But, I'm going to try to again pick up the daily exercise of blogging to memorialize things, and to sharpen the old writing skills, which are in desperate need of sharpening.

So, off I go to find the gym of my dreams. Wish me luck!

Life in the fast lane

I finally found a moment in time again, when my brain is slowed down enough to put some thoughts down on paper, or monitor, if you will.

Job Hunting:
Interview #1: I arrived to NJ on Wednesday, June 8th. On Monday, the 14th, I went to my first interview with Robert Half Legal. I donned a fancy suit jacket, slacks, and heels. I gave myself a manicure, and off I went to the speed train, on my way to Central City Philadelphia. It was a good few blocks from the end of the line to my destination, and I mean good, long blocks. My feet were not pleased in the tight heels I was running around in, and I could feel my deoderant failing me on this very hot, humid day. I found the Mellon Bank building, and I went up to 25th floor to meet with the recruiter. There was one other girl sitting in the waiting room with me, who was very chatty, but very nice. My online information could not be found (turns out it was routed to the San Fran location instead), and so I had to fill out a little more paperwork than I had hoped for, but it wasn't too terrible. Shortly thereafter, I was sat down at the computer to take three tests -- Word, Legal Terminology, and Typing Speed. As I sat down at the computer, the fire alarm rang, and off Chatty Cathy and I went to the fire exit. The alarms kept ringing and ringing as we ran down the 25 flights of stairs. I thought to myself that there was no way in hell I would going to get burned down in Philadelphia at my first job interview. The heels were too much for me as I started to get dizzy going round and round. I threw off the heels, and we continued to fly down the stairs. We waited for about 30 minutes. The other girl canceled her appointment, and I went back up. I took the tests, and waited to meet with my recruiter. She came out, and we sat in her pretty office overlooking Philadelphia. She told me she was impressed with my test scores, and I silently patted myself on the back for the torture I endured to get that compliment. As we discussed realistic expectations, she told me she felt optimistic about finding work for me. I that day feeling pretty darn good!

Interview #2: This interview was with a national court reporting firm. I had contacted them about a month before my move, and as it turned out, they had not filled the spot! I was very excited to meet with the interviewer as we had been corresponding for quite some time. Again, this job was in Philadelphia, so I headed to the speed train westbound. As I was standing on the platform, I received a call from Interview #1, telling me that she had a 3-month opportunity for me. Although the pay was lower than I had hoped for, she gently cooed that I would gain the NJ experience I need to land a more permanent position. I let her know that I had an interview that I was running to, and that I would let her know what happened with that. Interview #2 was located right near #1, in the heart of Philly on Market Street. The bottom floor was a Charles Schwab, covered in marble, and I was instantly taken. The firm was on the 51st floor, and I fought back the panic I felt at going up and down 51 flights everyday. I went up, and to the office, and wowie it was pretty. The receptionist sat me in a beautiful conference room, overlooking Philadelphia, the Ben Franklin Bridge, and parts of NJ. It was a gorgeous view of the city, and I knew I could handle the 51 floors for a view like this. I had what felt to be a great interview. We discussed benefits, hours, holidays, etc. I took this as a good sign. I thought for sure I would be contacted within a day or so. I went home and sent a follow-up thank you email. I have class once in awhile, thank you. The day came and went. And then the next day came, and started to "went." I got a little nervous because I had not heard anything from Interview #2, and I promised Interview #1 I would let them know what happened so I can give an answer regarding the temp job. As the day passed, I felt comfortable leaving a message with #2, simply asking when I could expect an answer either way. Still nothing. So I called #1, and let her know that I had not heard back yet. She told me that her client was reviewing my resume still, and apparently had another person's resume in front of them. I was mildly surprised to hear this, as the impression I had was that if I said yes to the temp job, I had it. Maybe the recruiter was covering herself since I had another interview lined up, so I couldn't blame her.

I did not have much time to worry about the job situation, as my family was coming into town shortly, and I had a lot of things I needed to deal with, like getting insurance, grocery shopping, clothes shopping, etc.

#2 Cont'd: I received an email a week after the interview, and the interviewee apologized for the delay in getting back to me because she was out of the office, but would love to have me in for a 2nd interview. I was excited to hear from her and told her my availability. I did not hear from her for another week, and she told me she had wanted to get me in for the 2nd interview that day, but she got busy. She again asked me for my availability. I gave it to her again, but with a little hesitation, as I was surprised at the 2-week wait on this process. Another few days came and went, and still nothing. Even as of today, there I have not received a response.

So, this past Monday, I decided to get a bit more aggressive as the firm did not seem to be panning out the way I had hoped. I sent in a few more resumes, and lo and behold, I got two calls for interviews this Monday!

Interview #3: I immediately knew I liked this attorney right away. He had a soft telephone voice, and I felt the kindness right away. We set up an interview for the next day. I don't want to say too much about this interview as of yet, but I really do hope it works out. His only concern, and a fair one, is that I have no NJ legal experience. There is no one to train me, and I'd pretty much sink or swim. Having already been in that situation, I think I can swim for this guy. I do have another interview set up next week as well, and I'm (im)patiently waiting for that 2nd interview at the court reporting firm to be scheduled.

More soon, with more fun stuff besides job interviews!

Tweet!

Howdy folks...I'm moving on over to Twitter, because really, my brain just can't handle long blogs right now! I'm at Bhotel21 if anyone cares to know the scoop!

Reno to SLC > SLC to Des Moines > Des Moines to DC

We woke up bright and early in Reno, Nevada. Our destination was Salt Lake City Utah. The terrain in Nevada was not that spectacular, but I found a beauty in the rolling brown dessert hills. It was hot, although dry. We had our water bottle army in the back seat to protect us against the hottest of temperatures. There is not a whole lot to say about Nevada except that every building seemed to have slot machines. The CVS (and there was a man playing the slots at 8:30 a.m.), the gas stations. I did not check if the fast food joints had them, but I'm pretty darn sure they did.

There were a few points of interest we wanted to visit before getting into SLC. The first being Battle Mountain. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_Mountain,_Nevada

As we read about the town of 3,000, we became even more fascinated with visiting the place. As it turns out, the town never had a battle and doesn't have a mountain. There is a large hill, and that's about it. The letters "BM" were cut through the face of the hill, which as immature as it was, made me giggle a little. Battle Mountain had small, desolate downtown, but the oasis was the Owl Cafe. We parked the car and looked at the owls painted on the side of the building. Half restaurant, half cafe, it looked like a pretty safe bet on some lunch. We were pleasantly pleased with our food. I had a crispy chicken salad with a cup of bean and ham soup. Brad had a nice nice looking breakfast plate of traditional pancakes, bacon and eggs.


****I will write more and finish this, but getting incredibly sleepy***

San Francisco to Reno

I woke up this morning at 6 a.m. with a knot in my stomach. Today was the big day, my big move east. With all of the pieces carefully set in place, there were only a few minor things to take care of this morning, which of course are pretty boring and not worth mentioning. But by 10:30 a.m., I was flying down Highway One, SFO bound.

I greeted my long time friend, who was completely famished. Our first mission was to find food, and to find it quickly. Heading up I-80 East, we landed ourselves on Ashby Avenue in Berkeley and found of course, a Whole Foods to grab some lunch time munchies. After satisfying our grumbling stomachs, we finally headed East, but this time, we were Reno bound.

I-80 East is a stunning ride. Mountains and valleys dot the landscape, and as you slowly slope into the Great Basin, you are greeted with the snow peaked Sierra Nevadas just ahead. I held my breath as I felt my little Honda chug upwards. As we serenely drove through the winding roads, we noticed the beautiful trees and of course, my favorite site to see, SNOW! We found a little gas station, parked the car, and jumped around and played in the snow. My friend noticed Donner National Park on the map or maybe from some signs, and he wondered if it was related to the famous Donner story from the 1800's, where a group of travelers turned cannibal to survive. It was in fact related.

We veered off towards the park and entered it. A small hike down the path led us to a large monument, which also served as the fireplace to the travelers' cabin. We looked at each other and both thought the same terrible thought of "I bet this is where they cooked their friends." We read the names of the perished on the left and the survivors on the right. We paid our quick tribute and left the park.

Our next destination was Lake Tahoe. It was my one California bucket list place. As an aside, I have an affinity for mountains and any snowy place in general, and especially water. So Lake Tahoe was the holy trinity of beauty in my eyes, and I was not leaving California without seeing it. We wound up and down the roads my friend's trusty GPS led us to. We crawled higher and higher and I believe at that point we had hit 6k feet elevation. The views were as beautiful as can be imagined, which are posted on twitter.com/zigawatt. I almost lost my breath as the large, blue body of water came into view. There was the grand Lake Tahoe. We parked our car near the CA/NV border and walked over to a beach. The water was a deep, dark blue, and straight across from us were the snow capped Sierras looking just as dominating as ever.

After Tahoe, we were ready to get to Reno! Back up the narrow mountain road again we went. This time, the elevation was even higher than the last road. We hit the summit at a whopping 9k feet elevation, and I silently thanked my civic for being so dependable during this treacherous drive. Once we hit the peak of the summit, the downward winding roads led us into a new kind of desert, sandy terrain. Gone were the rolling green hills, steep cliffs, and trees. Hello sandy, brown lumps of beauty.

We found a great hotel which had free shuttle service into town. After a good, hot shower and a fresh pair of clothes, we went into the biggest, little city of RENO! Bright, tacky, and flashy lights artificially lit the streets. We found a cute Pho restaurant which had pretty ok food. The waiter suggested I try the housemade lemonade, which was much too sour for my liking (my friend later saw them making the lemonade with a mix, so much for homeade!).

We went into a promising casino called CalNeva. We found ourselves in karaoke country. We got comfortable at a little table and enjoyed the very fiesty, elderly man showing his country dance moves to all. With midori sours in hand, we listened to a rapper as well, but it was mostly older country men singing their hearts out on that stage. It was quite the sight, and no words can do the dancing old man justice. My friend and I had no idea that Reno was so country. To add on to the strangeness of Reno, our shuttle driver was completely insane, but he seemed to have a good sense of humor despite his schizophrenic mannerism.

Mileage wise we didn't go too far today, but there was too much beauty to enjoy. Tomorrow our destination is Salt Lake City or possibly beyond!

Biore Strip Bonanza

I'm kind of addicted to Biore strips. Such a strange addiction to start at the tail end of one's 20's, but a good one in my opinion, nonetheless. This fascination with pore digging started with my friend's magnifying mirror. I innocently asked to borrow her mirror for a routine hair check, and much to my horror, this evil monster of a mirror highlighted every blemish in a most unsatisfying way. I couldn't stop staring at my pores, and immediately vowed to find strips to suck that dirt right off my face.

My friend and I cruised the drug store aisles in search of said strips, and we almost gave up before I heard a cry of, "I FOUND THEM!"

I will spare the details of my Biore experience, but I will say this -- it works, and it's strangely enjoyable, at least to me. With Biore strips on my nose and chin, and a bottle of hair dye, I know tonight will be...special.

This morning I took my car into the shop to have a routine inspection and maintenance. It cost me a pretty penny, but the peace of mind is worth it I suppose. A shuttle took me home, and a very nice friend took me back to the dealership to get the car. We then went to my favorite Thai place for a relaxing lunch.

I told her that I felt exhausted. The Thai iced tea gave me a quick perk, but I felt quickly crashed. I think my friend may be right on this one; that everything finally caught up with me. My last night of class was this past Thursday, and as anti-climatic the actual class was, I was floating on Cloud 9. And, for the past two days, I've been utterly exhausted. Although I did manage to hit the gym, take care of my car, dogsit the most adorable little guy on the planet, and of course apply many biore strips to my face.

My move is happening so soon, and it's pretty surreal to me at this point. When I start to really think hard about what I'm doing, my heart races and I lose a bit of breath. I'm very excited about my move, and I've put about a year's worth of work into orchestrating everything, but there is of course a bit of sadness that comes with such excitement. My mom asked if I was going to cry when I left. I told her I wasn't sure, since heavy things tend to not hit me until much, much later. One of my best friends moved to Colorado, and I didn't cry about it until a year or so later. I'm just a bit slow on the uptake I suppose.

I'm trying to drink in all of the beauty I can before I head out. There is beauty everywhere for sure, but this part of the west has a special kind of magic that tugs on the heart of those lucky enough to experience it.

Playing hooky

I ditched class again. Oh it feels good to be so bad. Well, it feels good to relax after several nights of severe sneezing and water eyes. Allergies, will you ever leave me alone? But, really, I've missed now a total of 3 classes. Considering my full-time school load, I think that's not too shabby of a record. Two more weeks until the close of the semester. It's hard to believe how quickly this all went by. When I started my blog back in December, the days were crawling by so slowly that I didn't know how I would make it to the summer. But, here I am, and I survived it!

Work has become a drag as I dream of lazy rivers and sunny days ahead. I find myself spacing out, and I think I even got busted surfing the net at work. Mind you, I take about 15 minute lunches and rarely take breaks, so I feel no remorse at taking some time out to check emails and check out the latest Facebook happenings. But really, I am getting more resentful with each passing moment I sit behind that desk. Today was not all lost -- I did get a response to my resume, wowie!

I've been talking a lot to my cute little niece and nephew. A part of me feels a bit of sadness that I missed out on so much of their lives being so far from them. But, I know deep in my heart how miserable of a person I would be if I had never taken the risk of moving out west, which I believe has served an amazing purpose in my life. But, we have been having animated chats about NYC, Philly, and Atlantic City -- all of which will be in close proximity to me in just over a month. My nephew, who is an adventure bug much like his aunt, is enchanted with the idea of exploring new terrain.

I skipped class yesterday as well. Instead I went over the UPS store to get estimates on shipping boxes. I was happily surprised to find out how cheap it would be to mail some of my boxes. My mother suggested to dump everything that won't fit in my car, but I can't bring myself to part with certain things. I then purchased some boxes and proceeded to start packing several more boxes. I piled the heavy boxes into my car and realized how silly it was that I have to hide my moving boxes out of respect for the ex. I knew this needed to be addressed and quickly because I just wouldn't have enough space in my car soon. So last night as we were watching some t.v., and after I yelled at him in annoyance for constantly talking over my show (I mean really, who does that?), he asked me a question that I was not ready for.

Now gentle readers, this might leave the g-rated zone (but only going for PG-13 from here) for several minutes, so if sexual talk makes you feel icky sticky inside, please discontinue reading from hereon. So, he asked me if the reason I don't let him touch me or kiss me anymore is because I just don't like him. I was startled for a moment before I could answer. Because the answer is a resounding, YES, OF COURSE, DUH, HELLO! But, as I looked at him, I couldn't bring myself to say what I was really thinking -- that I am just not sexually into him anymore. That I'd rather say hello to my trusty vibrating dolphin friend than be intimate with him. But, as I looked at him and thought of how much I'd been hurt by insensitive pricks in my late teens and early 20's, I couldn't bring myself to pass on that kind of pain. He doesn't deserve that kind of pain. So, I lied. I lied big time. I told him that it was just too hard with everything that was going on. He told me how relieved he was because he thought I just wasn't into him anymore.

As he breathed a sigh of relief, I stared at a spot on the wall, wondering how to not be a heartless frost queen. The frost queen reared her ugly head against my willpower, and I told him that I thought he was not in touch with the reality that I was really leaving. I told him I needed to pack, and out of respect I wasn't keeping boxes in the apartment, but that it wasn't really a reasonable way to do things. He got dodgy with me and told me my boxes weren't his problem and he just didn't want to see them. After more prodding, we agreed that the boxes would stay in the apartment, but I'd cover them up with a blanket. Sounds like a decent compromise.

My nephew asked me tonight about how I felt about the move. What an intuitive and sensitive fellow he has become. I told him that I felt a mixture of sadness, happiness, excitement, nervousness, but that it really depended on the moment. I told him that I was excited to be much closer to the family, and I hope I get to take that train to Colorado with my nephew as I've promised him.

Fuck yeah!

Stop, rewind, start again...

I could use a redo of today. Today was one of the more brutal ass woopings I have endured as of late. The wooping proceedings commenced this morning with my daily dose of allergy attacks. Half asleep with a puffed face, I dragged myself into work, wishing I could just call in. That is the worst part of working with a sole practitioner--the guilt factor with a sick call. I grudgingly dragged myself into work and all was well until sometime in the late afternoon.

With the constant aggravation of being interrupted while in the middle of projects, my boss consistently badgered me with question after question. Questions that could easily have been answered without screaming questions at me. Questions that would take her about 2 seconds to figure out, but are better directed at me while in the midst of large piles of work to do. At one point, my hole puncher got filled up with little white dots of paper. You know, those annoying dots that litter the floor. Well, those dots make me fucking insane. I need a very neat work space in order to function, and white dots on the floor really bother me. So, I started picking them up. My boss gives me a dirty look and tells me to stop; that we have bills to do. More questions to be answered, more annoyances. I told her I was only one person. She told me she knew. She then continued to badger/micro-manage me to the point where I had to tell her she was making me crazy. I told her that since I don't smoke anymore, sometimes doing some mind numbing thing like picking up white dots off the floor helps me clear my head. Especially since I don't even take real breaks anymore. I got teary eyed and almost burst into tears as I tried to explain this to her. I was so angry and frustrated by this point that I couldn't control it.

After blowing up at her, I apologized. I told her I was stressed from the move, school, and all these huge work projects. She really has been piling me up lately, and I'm on the downward slope to Idontcareanymore land.

I cried on the car ride to school, and did what any upset girl would do. I called my mommy. I called her and cried, and I bitched, and I moaned and groaned. I let it all out with Momz and she was pretty great. By the time I was done talking to my mom, I felt worlds better. I went to grab some dinner in the food court and all was well.........until....

I hopped in the elevator to go to Floor 6. At Floor 1, the already somewhat full elevator stopped, and people started piling in. Not a normal crowd, but so many people that I couldn't even breathe. I hate elevators to begin with, and with the history of the elevators getting stuck and the already strange creakings I was hearing, I went into panic mode. I told everyone I was getting off the elevator, and I elbowed my way through the crowd. There must have been at least 15 people on that elevator. )The security guard later told me the max is 8.) So, I hop off to see a large crowd of people forming a line at the elevators. There are 6 (or 4) elevators, and apparently they all stopped working. As I breathed a sigh of relief that I jumped ship just in time, the line grew larger and larger. After about 15 minutes of waiting, the security guard finally unlocked the doors and let us go up the stairs. 6 flights for me, thank you.

Class went smoothly for the most part. There is one very loud girl who sometimes joins our night class. After the day I had, I was in no mood for her obnoxious ass. I was aggro on her several times in the class, and though it's not normally my style to call people out like that, tonight was a good night for it. I just wasn't in the mood.

So, now I'm home, with a minor headache. Ready for a hot shower and some Indiana Jones. Also, my boss will be on Dr. Phil tomorrow as a legal consultant. So if anyone is interested...should be interesting, but expect to feel pretty depressed afterwards!

Chick'n

So tonight, I have to say, I had one of the most simple, most yummy meals I've had in awhile. Before I salivate all over the keyboard, no worries, I will share.

Shred up a rotisserie chicken. Mix with Daddy Sam's BBQ sauce. Put a slice of provolone cheese, your favorite coleslaw mix, and slather BBQ chicken on the bun. Eat with salad. Bam!

The weather has been pretty cruddy lately. I'm typically not a sunshine kind of gal, but I find myself craving some sunshine. I have a mental image of me resting on a lounge chair beside a pool. A very large margarita in my hand. Sounds like bliss to me. I spent entirely too much money on some summer clothes yesterday. It's been so long since I've owned shorts, I hope my white legs don't revolt from the sudden change. I did end up enjoying an amazing Thai dish with my buddy. Thanks for the treat buddy!

I went to the gym yesterday and today. There is a very creepy man who I have seen several times now. I don't dress cute for the gym. I usually look like I rolled right out of bed, which is fair since I wear pajamas to the gym. But this one guy, stares at my chest in such a lecherous way, that I leave just to avoid him. He gives me the creepy vibes for sure.

I finally get to file my income taxes this Thursday. I'm getting money back, so I've been desperately wanting to file, but for reasons not for the public of this blog, I could not. I'm actually excited to file my taxes this year. Thank you education tax credit. Obama was that you? Once I get my taxes, I will feel a much needed sense of financial relief. With my tax money, I will be right where I want to be, and won't be so worried.

This weekend was mostly non-eventful. I suppose I should enjoy this time because things are going to get really wild in about a month and a half.

A quickie

At the urging of a couple of friends, I am back to the blog! I feel my neglect of blogging is a good sign that life is keeping me busy, and that there just isn't much to bitch about, since this blog is mostly used for venting, bitching, pointing fingers, and screaming.

The quickies..

School. Almost flippin' done! Praise Jesus, Allah, and Moses. Thank you financial aid that will soon cover me in unmanageable debt. Thank you boss for letting me leave work early to go to school. And, finally, I would like to thank my car, for being such a trooper and getting me where I need to go. But, really, this is such a huge accomplishment for me. Four classes has been extremely rough. I've lost my temper, I've yelled at people I love, I've eaten my weight in chocolate...but it's all drawing to a close. I have just a little over a month left, and my program will be complete! This semester has been hell for me mentally, and financially. The amount of work piled on me by my sadistic teacher has been unreal. And the parking, bridge toll, gas, and dinner three nights a week has been brutal!

Home. Oh home. You never change, do you? Feeling really weird and awkward a lot. Happy I go to school all the time or have my head buried in textbooks and papers. The bf's mom isn't talking to me anymore, and I was defriended on Facebook by her. Sadly, this was not my only defriending this past month. Remember one of my options way back when? Well, I'm very happy I didn't take that option, because I'm not thrilled with that option for defriending me, so she can suck it!

Smoking. I had one cigarette at a party a few weeks ago. I felt like an addict seeking out the person I knew who had the smokes I liked. I followed him until he hooked me up with a fix, but it's fair since I have fed his addiction on many occasions. Sounds worse in writing. But, I had my one and I've been fine. It's been almost three months (feels like years), and some days I still find myself inhaling in, but it's gotten much, much better.

Move. The move! It's making me insanely happy at this point. My roommates seem fantastic, and the timing of their other roomie leaving couldn't be better. They have two very large dogs, two cats, and a lizard, which sounds to me like they can't possibly be too uptight. The family trip is planned, and I'm actually having fun with the sister I don't normally get along with as we plan for adventures in NYC and Philly. I'm talking to that boy up there again, and it feels great to be able to enjoy talking to him again, but without the pressure this time. I also do not want to work for at least a month, and let myself decompress after all the big shifting. Might get an August visit from a very special, longtime friend.

Working out. Oh this one has majorly slipped. I can't do it all, ok? The quitting smoking has countered my weight loss efforts in a very sad way. I know it's unavoidable to gain the after quitting weight, but damn, it's getting to be summertime, and I wouldn't mind looking hot in a bathing suit. My friend is on a no sugar diet and lost 35 pounds. My boss is on a cabbage soup diet. Am I going to have to diet to really drop the weight, or maybe I'm just happy complaining about it like the rest of America. Either way, I'll get to you eventually pesky jelly rolls, and when I do, you better watch your ass.

Movies. I'm giving movies its own category, because I've been loving on the new ones lately. Just saw Clash of the Titans, and before all purists scream bloody murder, I enjoyed it for the pure entertainment value. Hades looked amazing. Olympus was gorgeous. Medusa was not scary enough. Bla bla. The original always will hold a special place in my heart, but movies are just not made like that anymore people! Let's stop being elitists about it. Hot tub Time Machine, you are next up. John Cusack movies are fabulous no matter how bad they are. Are there any bad John Cusacks? And, I'm jumping the gun here, but TRON Legacy! Why torture me with the ads...DECEMBER?? So very much looking forward to that.

Time to catch up on some cartoons and then to the gym!

Traffic Court

I woke up this morning with some pep in my step. I found a cute black top with black pants and a nice pair of black boots. I adorned myself with a pair of earrings and a sparkly bracelet. I was set to go to...TRAFFIC COURT.

I did not need to go, but I wanted to fight my excessively high ticket for talking on the cell phone while driving (no hands free device). I played out my sad, sorry excuse in my head on the drive to court and felt like I had a winner. I arrived at court, went through security, and saw a long line snaking its way around the hallway. Of course that was my destination. I stood in line, and it felt like it was moving in slow motion. I started texting friends for some entertainment. I was surprised and happy to learn of Munchkin's true identity. No, you are not a 17 year old girl from New York!

I saw "S", who I have had a long term crush on. S is an activist and his organization has worked with my boss for quite some time. I've always had an affinity for him, but he recently got engaged. Oh boo to you. But, I saw his twinkly brown eyes and he gave me some good tips on how to deal with the commissioner who was on bench for traffic court that day. After seeing S, I ran into Dusty. If anyone recalls from my previous posts my disdain for Dusty, then you will know how unthrilled I was to run into him. He came up to me, extraordinarily stinky and loud, and asked if my boyfriend was still alive. After a horrible look from me, he told me he was just joking and it was his way of talking to his hot girlfriends. I don't consider myself to be any kind of friend to him, so I was even more horrified. He then went on to tell me about some girls he was in love in with, and how he was at court to request to be thrown into jail because he ran out of money. I sort of stared at him blankly. Did he want money from me? Did he want to hang out with me? Touch my boobs as he has previously requested? I was in no mood for Dusty's crap this morning, so I started rudely staring away from him until he got the point and trudged away.

Court started at 10:00 am, but the commissioner decided he would wait until 10:20 to join the courtroom. The rowdy folks in the room were agitated from sitting around and waiting, and the commissioner came out and did not look to be in good spirits. He immediately and sort of kindly told everyone to shut their pie holes, and proceeded to throw his power around with talk of how "slowly" court would go if we weren't quiet. Granted, traffic court is not like any of the courts I have been to, where people are quiet and respectful. And, traffic court is not in any way a glamorous job for a judge or commissioner, but too bad Charlie, no need to be a d*#& about it!

I knew I was in trouble when he started spouting in a rehearsed fashion that he VERY RARELY decreases fines. That he agrees the fines are excessive, but it's a statutory issue and we should write to our legislators. Way to set the stage Commissioner. I almost got up right then and walked out the door. Some drunk guy yelled that he wanted a new judge. But, I have never had the experience of being on the stand (I was more "at the podium"), and I figured it is something I really should experience considering the field I'm in. Good to get some first hand experience of getting grilled by a Commissioner (who is sort of a judge...but that's another blog).

He called 6 people up at once. 5 in the seats, and 1 at the podium. It was done very orderly, and he was quite efficient. The plea choices were guilty, not guilty, and no contest. Not guilty got you sent to trial, and bail was waived if it i) caused a hardship, and ii) you promised to appear at your trial. Guilty and no contest could be pled with an explanation. I toyed with the idea of pleading no contest just to sound kind of badass, but I really had no reason to, so I played out the guilty plea in my head.

Finally, he called me. I bid him a good morning and pled guilty with an explanation. My voice cracked a little, but I told him I had to take an urgent call from the east coast, and that my driving record was very clean and that I was a safe driver, bla bla. He stared at me as if expecting more, but I had nothing else and told him so. He steadily stared at me, and told me my fine. The fine was the same amount as my citation. No pity from the commissioner, but I did get a month extension to pay it.

I went out to my car in the pouring rain, but had my cute, leopard umbrella to protect me. I saw something floating in a puddle near my car. Upon closer inspection, I recognized my pink sports bra pathetically soaked on the gravel. I had it in my car because I had planned to hit the gym after work today. I almost picked it up, but immediately felt a repulsion to my sopping wet, floating bra in the courthouse parking lot. I left it there in sweet surrender, and went on to work.

Work was non-eventful, but I did have a nice short day because I spent the morning in court. Another Friday night is about to be dedicated to homework, but I keep my mantra that this will all pay off somehow for me. Amazing job that pays well and has a work-life balance, is that you?

Hit me baby one more time...

I've been obsessively listening to this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NwqN-xj9Xs

Brrr..it looks cold, Travis. Thank goodness for being able to play MP3's in my car.

My birthday was great. I don't remember if I posted about it already, and I'm just a bit too lazy to go check. So, I'll leave it as I had a good birthday.

My friend and I made plans to go to the beach the day after my birthday. She picked me up Sunday afternoon, and I was greeted with really cute black arm warmers with little holes for my thumbs. It matched my Hello Kitty shirt perfectly. We drove to the Headlands in search of a beach, which even if you don't live in the SF Bay area, you have probably seen in either commercials or movies.

The Golden Bridge connects the Headlands and San Francisco, and is one of the most beautiful places on the planet. As we drove up into the headlands, our car winding up and down narrow roads, we hit a crossroads. I couldn't remember we needed to make a right or left, so we went with left. Left provided us with a view that took my breath away. We started winding down a one way road, with mountain to the right and cliffs to our left. The road was very winding, and it felt like we were driving straight into the ocean. I quickly reached into my friend's ("A") purse and grabbed her camera to capture this stunning shot.

We slowed down and then stopped on the road. The BMW in front of us had stopped. The bicyclist in front of the BMW stopped. I curiously looked up as I saw the BMW dude ("BD") talking to the bicyclist ("Biker"). I wondered if they knew each other, but it sure didn't look like a friendly conversation, and hey, they were holding up my precious beach time...so what the hell? A snapped a couple of pics. Next thing I know, BD throws a punch on Biker, and they are in a full fledged brawl. A then snapped a pic of BD's license. I sat stunned in the car, watching them from behind the window, and as if in slow motion. Then A gets out of the car, and yells at BD to knock it off. BD then knocked Biker down and put him in a choke hold. A continued to to tell BD where the sun don't shine, and I felt a little like an ass for sitting so quietly. So, I took a mental note that if I ever get into a fight, I want A to be my backup.

BD got up from Biker and gave A a really horrible look. I yelled at A to get back in the car. BD got back into his BMW. As an aside, BD had a cute, little blonde chic in his car, and she just kind of sat there as her man was pounding on some little bike rider. You sure got a winner lady!

BD takes off in his BMW, and I and I pull the car the to the side and check on Biker. His knee was bloody, and he was a little shaken up, but nothing serious was going on. We called the police for him, gave the license plate, description, etc. A asked Biker what he said to piss off BD so much. Turns out Biker was riding slow, BD honked, Biker told him the road was his too, and then BD's testosterone took over his soul and proceeded to pound the fuck out of Biker.

The ambulances (yes more than one ambulance, there is not much excitement going on) came down the winding road. The police caught BD, and A's camera saved the day.

We finally headed down to the beach, but had to make a pit stop at the visitor's center to give another office the photo on her camera. We found the beach, stayed about 5 minutes due to wind, then packed it up and headed back to my place. We had a lovely birthday lunch with another friend, and then went over to that friend's place to watch the Oscars.

I spoke with my sister while I was over there. I have two sisters. One of them I talk to weekly, the other, I hadn't spoken to since Thanksgiving. That sister and I really just don't get along to put it mildly. We did have a light conversation, she wished me happy birthday, discussed schools and careers for my niece and nephew, and it was ultimately very pleasant.

I played hooky on school last night. Yeah, yeah...it's the first class I've missed out of ANY of my classes in 7 weeks, so I don't want to hear it. I went to see Alice and Wonderland with the bf instead. I tend to not give a rat's poot about what the critics say, although I heard this movie didn't get great reviews. I didn't bother to read the reviews and went in with an open mind and 3d glasses. I LOVED the movie. I was not expected a deep story about Alice. I do think the movie felt rushed a bit, but it was very entertaining, and the visual effects are fabulous. I'm sure I'll see this several more times before it leaves the theaters.

The bf and I are strange. We can be having a great time, and then all of a sudden, someone will bring up my leaving. I've been guilty of this myself as the guilt of not telling him my plans are kind of eating me up inside. So last night, at the snack counter in the theater, it was brought up. I told him we haven't talked about when. He turned to me and said "I thought it was June." My blood ran cold. How would he know that? Has he read my blog? Has he gotten into my emails and facebook? I got kind of freaked, but calmly asked him, "what makes you say June"? He told me because that's when school was over. I didn't agree or disagree, but nodded, and felt an immediate high from that. The hard job was over. The secret I'd been harboring was not ever a secret. We made no other reference to the conversation that night.

I've been watching Band of Brothers lately. I'm not going to get to see the Pacific right away, but I figure now is as good time as any to get reacquainted with it. It's a fabulous series, and it's one of the few war movies/series I can stomach.

I may or may not have mentioned that I got a citation for driving and talking on my cell phone. Today, I'm going into court to fight that sucker because it's a ridiculous fine. So, wish me luck.

It's not right to be awake and blogging this early the day after my birthday, but here I am - allergies and all.

I was looking online to see if there was a relationship with my recent allergies and quitting smoking. Though I did not find any real medical sounding information, I did find a forum where people discussed this issue:

http://www.topix.com/forum/health/allergy/TG70I7EP1E0LDU3ED

Sadly, there were no real answers, just a bunch of ex-smokers complaining of allergy symptoms and attempting to self diagnose. But, I did feel better after reading it, because my allergies are truly kicking my ass, and I am now unable to sleep in which has taken me and my mucous to a new, very uncool level.

The King Tut exhibit was amazing!! 10 rooms of glittering artifacts were quite overwhelming. I had a hard time grasping how old some of the items were - over 3k years old! Thrones, busts, masks, coffins. There were videos running in some of the room as well. That Carter dude really hit the damn jackpot in that excavation trip. I was kind of wondering though if Tut would be pissed his tomb got hijacked, you know? Like these things were all set up very ceremoniously to assist him in the afterlife. Maybe it was just to help him get there, but I imagine he'd like to be sporting his scarab necklaces in heaven? I was wearing high heels and by the end, I could hardly walk around. I had to keep finding benches to rest on, which turned out to be a good thing I think, because I needed some time to digest some of these exhibits. My favorite things were the golden shrine, and the gilded coffin of Tjuya.


http://www.touregypt.net/museum/tutl55.htm
http://www.tutsanfrancisco.org/content/coffin-tuyu

I could go on for days, but anyone living in the bay area should see this. It's touring around the US, and it's really a magical thing.

After the exhibit, we drove back to our apartment. My driving strike ended after realizing what a pain it was to get to the museum. But, I was back on strike for dinner time. We came back and I opened my present from the bf's mom. She got me a super cute headband, and a very blingy necklace. Not my normal style, but once it was on it, I liked how it looked. It's one of those wild Betsy Johnson necklaces, with crowns and bows and hearts. Hearts in leopard print. I got a bunch of compliments on the thing, so I know it worked! The bf went downstairs to start his car and get us to dinner. His car didn't start. I didn't say a word, but I could feel my blood pressure building. He kept trying and then nothing. I was pissed beyond pissed at this point, and although my readers you may think I could quite possibly be the biggest brat in the world for this kind of hissy fit, but there is history and reason behind it.

The bf's car is my age. He refuses to get a new one and relies on my car to get us around. Pretty much every dinner is spent with me toting the two of us around, and as I am a strict observer of the no drinking and driving policy, I never get my fancy dinner cocktails. However, last year on my birthday, all I wanted was to be able to have a nice drink and be taken care of. It was bad enough I was sharing my birthday dinner with the bf's mom's friend, and bad enough I really got no say in where I was going, but I wound up driving us to my birthday dinner and boy, was I not happy. We broke up shortly thereafter.

So, back to the present. I get my keys and storm around in a huff and tell everyone to get in my car because we have to make our reservation. I was feeling insanely pissed because I had already driven the first leg of my birthday, and here we were going with round two. The gods were on my side and the bf tried his car again, and in we piled. We had a fabulous dinner, and I had a very, VERY strong Mai Tai.

We came back to the apartment and relaxed with Band of Brothers. It was then my body started revolting on me. I was itchy, sneezy, plugged, snotty - all at once. With piles of tissue around me, I tried to relax and let the allergy attack ride out. I found a trial sized nasal spray my doc gave me and snorted some of that. Nothing was working, so I took a very hot shower, which helped a great deal.

I did wake up this morning with the same allergies, which is why I was awake earlier today than I am for work days. But, with the gym, picnic on the beach, taking the car in, Oscars, dinner and homework, I think I'll have a pretty enjoyable, but busy end to my birthday festivities.

It felt so wrong, it felt so right, don't mean I'm in love tonight...

So today I turned 29. That is so horrifying to type out. I don't feel any different. I don't have achy bones or a bad back. I suppose those ailments are jumping the gun a little. However, I did toss and turn from the spring allergies that have hit me hard, and I'm sporting a pretty raw nose.

The bf came home last night with the present I was pining for. I didn't want stuff, I didn't want things...I wanted a damn fancy haircut. Last night I was greeted with a gift certificate for a fancy salon, and I will get my hair did, and it will be fabulous.

In celebration of feeling old, today will be spent exploring the De Young museum and ole' King Tut and pal's bones. Then a delicious dinner. Since I am on driving strike today, we are busing and cabbing it all over town. I changed my mind about dinner because it would mean a whole other set of buses and cabs, which just don't sound all that appealing. In the heart of local and delicious foods, I'm going to P.F. Chang's. I don't care that it's a big chain. I'm much less angry than I used to be about big chains, but I usually don't go for it with all the wonderful mom and pops around here. But, PF is quite possibly one of my favorite places on the planet, so I'm going for it.

My mother was freaked out and chastised me for having the bf and his mom taking me around today, considering, well...you know. I felt my face drain of blood when she said that, and I immediately felt like total scum. I quickly consulted one of my friends who told me to live it up and enjoy while I have it. So mixed with guilt and pleasure, I will just go for it today.

Today not only memorializes my birthday, but the 3-month mark until I head out of dodge. I suppose it would make for a very uncomfortable dinner to drop the bomb tonight, so I'm waiting for the right moment. Although, I don't know when there will be a right moment, but I do know today is not it.

It's interesting to me that several people I know are planning on leaving this heavenly area. It started when one of my best friends moved a couple of years ago, and people in my life are slowly dwindling away from the bay. One of my friends told me he couldn't wait to get the hell out of SF. What's going on with that? I think the gentrification of SF is pretty startling, and the reality is, if you don't make 6 figures, it's a tough town. Plenty of people do it, myself included, but it sure ain't easy.

Tomorrow I will enjoy a picnic at the beach with a dear friend, and some dinner later followed by the Oscars(i think?) and some homework. I played hooky on my Friday night homework, and spent the night relaxing with some of my favorite shows and a stir fry dinner.

I am still smoke free as of today. As tempting as it's been, and I mean really freaking tempting, I haven't caved in. I'm almost through one box of nicotine gum, but pretty happy that it has lasted this long. I even lost my marbles this past Sunday and had to call a friend to talk me through the craving. Last Sunday was pretty special though. I sealed the deal with a roommate. That's right, I have one FOR SURE. They are normal folks, live in a really cute house, and they are close to the speedline into Philadelphia. I'm so stoked to explore a new area, and have been searching Yelp to my heart's content.

Oh dear sweet blog, how I've neglected you so. Thankfully you live in the land of infinite cyberspace, and you are my forever friend.

I don't even know where to start, so I guess I'll just start.

Telephone call with potential roommate tomorrow. Looks like this may pan out in a cosmic kind of way. She is nice, her hubby is nice, the location is excellent, and I get my own bathroom. It's still a few months out, and talking to her tomorrow should help in solidifying plans.

Spoke with and emailed my resume to a very interesting political guy. He seemed friendly, and although I doubt he'd hold a position for me, it gave me that burst of excitement that I needed, knowing there is work out there and interesting people to provide that work.

School is INSANE. And, I mean infuckingsane. I spent last night and this morning (totaling 7 hours) on 9 assignments. I am resentful that my Friday nights are now designated as homework nights, but I really just don't have another solution for managing the massive homework assignments. My capeesh guy may make my knees wobble, but he makes my brain hurt and he may cause me to start smoking again. Bada bing that!

It's been over a month without a cigarette. Not even a little puff. I don't have the personality to socially smoke or have a puff now and then. I'm an all or nothing kind of gal, and that has its perks, just not with smoking. Last night I was so overwhelmed and stressed out by school that I cried and begged the bf for a smoke. I cried...for a cigarette. Maybe a little gross and over dramatic, but hell, I've heard it's easier to quit crack than smoking. I actually am craving cigs more now than I was during the first week. I think it's just the stress of everything. And, I feel like I'm gaining some some chunkage. I go to the gym 2 days a week instead of the 5 I was going before school started.

Things with the bf are the same. My birthday is next week, which is the 3 month mark until departure, so I may give it one more week and then drop the bomb. I can't believe time is moving so quickly.

Birthday is next weekend. Last year of my 20's. Fuck! Going to see the King Tut exhibit in SF, and then off to a fancy pants dinner at an old school SF steakhouse, Bobo's.

Tonight, meeting up with a good friend to see a hot Swedish band. Very much looking forward to that.

A Florida friend is going through a divorce, and we are going through a lot of the same feelings and experiences. We have both decided that next year, we are going to Scotland and riding horses. Sounds solid to me.

Overheard in Mill Valley

I was in the post office line yesterday. It was quite possibly the longest line ever. While we were all standing around and waiting, a couple of male acquaintances started chatting. They were a bit older and bearded men. They reminded me a little of mountain men, but very, very fit mountain men. They were talking about their children, and one of the guys was so pleased that his daughter was a teacher's assistant. Then he said the one thing that makes me see red..."now she'll be able to get a real job." On top of that, the other man guffawed and made me see double red..."oh, so she'll be making 80k to start." They had a good laugh, and chatted about the successes of their children, whipping out their dicks to see who had the bigger one. Ooops, I mean more successful child.

I was bothered by this conversation for a couple of reasons. The first being that anything less than having financial success does not mean you have a real job. This makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. If you work and get a paycheck, then you have a bonafide job. If you work and get a great, big paycheck, then congratufuckinglations. But neither job is more real than the other, and mocking the folks who struggle to earn a living makes me want to hurt others. Like a lot. Second, is this how people in my town view success? Does making a ton of money mean that you did a great job raising the children. Well, great job Jon, here's a pat on the back for making babies and they grew up to wealthy! Not one of my mountain men said, "Well gee, she's a really great kid."

Enough ranting about that.

Some goings on...

School: Insanely busy with school. 3 nights a week commuting into the city, plus an internship (which is my job, but I need to do journal entries), and working full-time is HARD! I came home last night so incredibly pooped out. However, it does make my week go incredibly fast and keeps me very busy. The teacher I have for Probate and Ethics is making me crazy with his anal retentive ways, despite my desire to make sweet love with him as soon as he opens his mouth to speak. He said "Capeesh" again, and I think a part of me melted.

Work: Meh, it's fine!

Gym: Since school started, I have been neglecting the gym. I've been going on Saturday and Sundays and that's about it. Combine less gym time with quitting smoking and I'm sure you can figure out that I am not pleased with the scale results. I tried running on the treadmill a couple of days ago to see if my stamina improved, but my feet hurt so badly I had to stop (I was wearing skating shoes...oops). I then tried to get on the eliptical, but my feet were in so much pain that I gave up and went home. That's what I get for trying to be healthy.

Home: Home life has its typical ups and downs. Told the bf I can feel myself pulling away knowing that my move is coming up. He reminded me we are just trying to enjoy each other until I'm ready to go. Sounds so dramatic and weird. Why am I not totally rich so I can get my own place, dammit!?

The move: Things are starting to shape. A very nice girl I talked to last November has reappeared, and although she has a roomie now, the roomie is leaving at the end of May or early June. Sweet! I would get my own bathroom, a large bedroom, and the house itself is super pretty and big. The other girl I was talking to from many blogs ago sort of just didn't send me pics like I had hoped, so not sure what's going on with that situation. So, I'm feeling pretty good about the potential new place. I am also stoked because there will be a huge Ren Faire nearby, and I'm going to corset up and go! Hell yeah!

Not for all the tea in China

My friend "Q" worked for a tea distribution company for quite a long time. Over time he accumulated some teas and even saved a pallet of tea from imminent destruction - that tea was heading to the dumpster with its other tea pals. Q is moving back to the east coast, and asked me and "A" to help him unload some of his tea. We were happy to oblige.

Q and I drove into the city to meet up at A's place. I did not pay attention to the boxes in the backseat of the station wagon, and happily yapped with Q and petted his pretty dog. We got to A's place, parked the car, and started unloading...holy tea box Batman!

We lugged the many boxes up the stairs and piled them into the living room. Words cannot describe the piles of tea sitting in that room. We sat down and got to working on sorting the teas. From Sapphire Ceylon, to Thousand Days Jasmine, to Jade Pagoda, it was an endless sea of exotic, fragrant teas. I was blissed out for several hours, poking in and out of boxes, and carefully pulling out the ones that pleased me most for myself and for some other tea loving friends.

We started mentally crashing from the tea overload and took a walk down the street. We were in search of an open bakery to cure our sweet craving. We found a crepe place on the main strip called Fritz. I ordered myself a crepe with nutella, strawberries and whipped cream. Q ordered apples, cinnamon, toasted almonds, and whipped cream. A ordered herself some fries with...WHITE TRUFFLE OIL.

The fries came out first and they were dripping with the white truffle oil. We dipped our fries into bbq sauce and some concoction of white truffle oil, artichoke, and ketchup. The fries were fantastic and A's eyes glazed over for a moment while chewing her fries. We munched happily on our amazing fries and then our monster crepes came out.

I have to say, eating good food is probably one of my favorite things to do, EVER. If I could go back and do it all over again, I'd be a food critic. Though, I am not adventurous with my cuisines, and would not be able to tolerate seafood, organs, etc.

We went back and continued with our massive tea project. I took everything that pretty much everyone else didn't want. This left me with many large boxes of tea. And, I don't mean those little boxes you buy in the store, I mean moving boxes full of tea, and many of them. I went home and made iced tea with the crysanthumum tea, and started building care packages of tea for some folks that I knew were into tea. I looked again in the boxes and found some new ones that I missed the first go around. Chocolate chip truffle tea, wowie. I called people up and asked if they wanted tea. I facebooked people. (Linds...do you like tea? :P) People wanted to know how I came across so much tea. I felt like a tea hustler, pushing my goods on people to "move the stuff."

This morning, I woke up (duh), gave my old roomies an enormous amount of tea, hit the gym, and went grocery shopping. I also ingested some very special cookies and I'm feeling a bit...special. So with a ruben sandwich in hand and the Superbowl on t.v., I'm enjoying relaxing on the last leg of this weekend.

No words came out

Dear Blog,

My how things change in just a day or two. Can we slow down the emotional rollercoaster please? Maybe it's an operator error.

The bf brought up such sticky, yucky stuff last night. Stuff I had been hoping to not deal with for at least a couple of months, but it looks like I don't have a choice but to deal. It was sad and emotional. As he talked, I stared at a spot on the wall. As I fixated on that spot, I was vocally frozen, and nothing came out. I desperately wanted a cigarette, because my stress point was finally hit. I, of course did not have any, because I quit about two weeks ago, and for some divine reason, he didn't have any either.

After listening and taking in all the words being poured on me, I walked away and into the bedroom and found a new spot on the wall the stare at. I fell asleep, and it was on my mind first thing this morning.

After work, instead of going to the gym as intended, I came home and wrote a lengthy response to last night's one sided conversation. I felt that mental health came before physical health tonight.

I am turning 29 years old in a month. TWENTY-FREAKING-NINE. I feel like that sounds so old, but I don't feel it physically. 28 has been one hell of a year, my god. I would say 28 has been the biggest rollercoaster of them all. I foresee 29 being a bit on the wild side as well, but I'm hoping to tame that beast before the last year of my 20's gets too out of control. I'm hoping for a wild, good time, but not in the same way of this year.

At 28 I:
* Quit smoking (hopefully for real this time)
* Joined a gym and actually worked out
* Will be getting a paralegal certificate
* Will have a horrible breakup resembling a divorce
* Started a blog to memorialize all the crazy shit going on in my life
* Moved out of my apartment
* Moved in with strangers
* Moved back in to my old apartment
* Made a decision to move for myself to a place that has SNOW

I suppose now that I've written it down, it doesn't seem like so much. Actually, it seems a little on the short end of exciting things going on in a year. I'm a bit of an adventure junkie, and overcoming challenges and pushing myself to the limits gives me an extra notch on my belt.

Over and out, folks.

Busy

Holy moly, the days are going so fast now, I can hardly take a moment and smell the blogs.

A quick update: Last night had a terrific sex dream again! Sex dream was with college ex bf, so no idea why he's coming into my psyche, but made for a damn fine way to wake up this morning. Why am I having so many sex dreams? My grad student psych friend...help me out a little? He is a friend on Myspace and we occasionally chat. I tried to find him to let him know about my dream, because I figure that would bring a smile to another human's face this morning.

School: AWESOME. I am loving my classes, loving the teachers, and loving the homework we are given. I feel a bit challenged, but not to my breaking point (yet). Love going to the food court of super awesome places before class. Tonight, I expect to get my favorite - A Roadhouse Buck, meat, blue cheese chunks, fried onions, and tons of my favorite red bbq sauce.

Home: MEH! Still the same old stuff. Figuring out the right time to tell the bf the exact date I'm leaving. Don't want to do it too soon and have a miserable next few months, but don't want to do it too late and leave him screwed. Also must remember to get the electric, telephone, and cable changed to his name only.
We buried my sweet little hamster yesterday in the hammy at a local park, where our hamster graveyard is.

Move: Feeling a bit burned out on the process. I've sent out a few emails to more prospective roomies to keep my options open, but nothing is looking as good as the prospective roomies from way back. But, I have yet to see pics of the place, connect with the actual roommates (and not just the landlord), or be connected with the friend in SF. It's still too early to seriously job search, but I did apply for a job with the FBI as a paralegal, because that would be fricken' rad. I don't expect to hear back, but I have nothing to lose. I am just a little bored and burned out right now, so I'm laying low and hoping for some inspiration to hit me soon.

Smoking: Still smoke free. It sucks. I love smoking. I didn't even quit because I hated smoking that much. I just hated the idea of an old lady me, with a smoke in hand hacking up green stuff. I'm at the week and a half mark I think? Getting closer to two. I'm not needing the nicotine gum as much, and the crankiness has abated. I am find myself strangely antsy though, and those are the moments when I want a smoke. Like, after my show is over. But still going with it. I haven't been hungrier really, and I'm not snacking a lot, BUT, I haven't been going to the gym as much since school started (can only go fri/sat/sun now), so I hope my blubber doesn't suffer too much from all the changes at once. I figure if I work out super hard over the weekend, I should be ok. Also, once I get used to my new late night, busy schedule, I can cram some gym in there also.

Time to get ready for work. I feel like I've been going a hundred miles an hour!

Last night

About 3 am the bf came into the bedroom and woke me up. He had one of our hamsters in his hands and told me he didn't think the little guy was doing so well. I took one look at him ("Fat Ham") and knew he was near death.

About a month ago, I told the bf I was worried about Fat Ham. He looked frail and his coat was thinning out. He also was not running in his wheel as much as normal. We thought maybe it was just the cold weather.

But, last night as the he sat in the bf's hand, I cried and cried. I told the bf to put him back in his cage and make him comfortable. He had such a hard time letting go of Fat Ham. He kept stroking his tummy, but Fat Ham was on his way out of this land.

We put him in the cage and gave him a fresh heaping of his favorite food. I cried as I knew he would not make it through the night, and there was not a damn thing I could do for the little guy. I've had enough dwarf hamsters to recognize when it's their time to go. The smushed face, heavy and fast breathing, lack of movement, etc.

I woke up this morning and checked on him. There he was in the spot we put him, looking totally at peace. He lived to be about 1 year and 8 months, which is ancient in dwarf hamster years. The owner of the pet store told me they live longer when they are bonded to humans. I like to think he was bonded to us. He was one of the sweetest dwarves I've had. These types of hamsters are not known for being sweet; they are typically aggressively and must be tamed. I've had Fat Ham and his brother Crazy Ham since they were about 6 weeks old, so I had a chance to tame them while they were young.

His brother Lazy Ham is still rocking and rolling in the other cage. They were separated last Christmas due to fighting.

I wish my baby well over the Rainbow Bridge.

#$%%@%#$!@#@

So, continuing with my not so great mood...

I went to the atm machine to deposit my paycheck. The ATM machine sucked up my check, blared a message on the screen about how my transaction was not processed...and oh...sorry, WE CAN'T GIVE YOU BACK YOUR TRANSACTION. Seriously? The machine at my check for a second time. I was so upset and called BoA immediately to put in a claim. I almost burst into tears as the woman asked me ridiculous question after ridiculous question. Finally, she told me a credit would post to my account tomorrow night while they "investigate" my claim.

Then, I went to the store to get paper for my printer so I could print out my homework. The store had no paper, so I had to walk half a mile down the road to another store to get the paper. I didn't really have to walk, but my blood was racing because of the check eating machine.

I went to the gym and blew off some steam, which felt pretty great. But then I came home to check the mail and saw some more tax forms. I sat down with my new forms, and input the info into turbotax. I had already started a return, and I was set to have myself a sweet little return. As I put in the information with my new 1099's, I saw my pretty green cha-ching turn to red. Looks like I owe the feds and state some money this year. Not just a little, but a heavy chunk of change. I got upset again and vowed to eat macaroni and cheese and ramen soup for the rest of the week.

I do have the money to pay it off, but I also have a big fat registration payment for my car due soon, and I really, REALLY don't want to do dig into my moving fund. I already had to take a little handful out to pay for a class and some textbooks. I am just feeling super frustrated, annoyed, angsty, irritated, helpless, and a variety of other not so fun feelings.

This too shall pass

You know what? I really, REALLY hate it when someone says to me "this too shall pass." I especially, double hate it when it's used out of context.

Friend: "How's school going?"
Me: "Oh, it's crazy, homework...."
Friend: "This too shall pass."

HUH? I didn't say anything about school being bad, just made a comment matter of factly. Not to sound super bitchy here, but doesn't everything in one's life eventually come to pass? Just cut out the bs, aight?! Nicotine withdrawal symptom, probably.

Last night, as I was telling the bf how great my friend's new neighborhood is, he looked at me and made a comment about me moving in with her. I looked at him, and asked him where the hell that came from. I asked him if he wanted the next few months to be pleasant or shitty. He told me pleasant. But, the guy can't help but make digs about me moving out on him. At least it's not daily anymore, but holy cow, it's annoying as hell to listen to that. As departure day looms nearer, I think I may consider the option of staying with my friend until it's time to officially skidaddle. I realize I'm not in the healthiest of relationship situations, but this is the price I pay for being across the country from family. There is no running home to ma and daddy when shit hits the fan. I also would like to mention, this is one of the most expensive places in the country, so it's not like I can go get my own cute apartment either. So, I'm sort of stuck in limbo land for a few more months.

I went to be early last night. I was so pooped from moving. Thank god I quit smoking a whole week ago, otherwise I would have never been able to handle the up and down and up and down on that narrow staircase. I have been slacking on the gym this past week, but with starting school and quitting smoking, I figure I can only take on so much at once.

The pretty weather of yesterday is no back to doom and gloom again. At least drop a few sprinkles of snow if you are going to look so gloomy!

Off to either be productive or go back to sleep. We'll see what wins.

Movin', movin', movin'

I woke up at 8 a.m. today in preparation for helping my friend move. It is not a far move, just a hop, skip, and jump over the Golden Gate, but moving in general is such a stress. I showed up at her place around 9, and we went to pick up the moving van. A Bagel, cup of orange juice and coffee later, we arrived back at her place, and proceeded to stuff my car with as much stuff as possible. Some other friends of hers came over about an hour later, and we started loading the big stuff on the truck. A couple hours later we were done with that leg. My friend wasn't feeling well, and we took a breather before heading into the city to unload.

Off to the city we went, and her new roomie and other friend came to help unload. Thank goodness, because by this point, me and the friend were kind over it. We unloaded, flopped on the couch, and took a moment to breathe. We then wandered around to find some food.

Her neighborhood is adorable. I made her go into every chocolate shop and every bakery we passed. I cooed and squealed over cookies with almond ganache, and macaroons, "liquid chocolate." But, we had already had a huge helping of food, and I could not possibly ingest another thing at the moment.

About our dinner - wow! We first attempted to eat a Chicago style pizza place. It looked quite yummy and gooey cheese was sounding quite appetizing. The wait was 30-40 minutes for a pizza though, so we walked the block and found another Mexican/Seafood place called Marina's. Well, I think that's what it's called. I usually stay away from seafood places, but I figured there would be some chicken or steak dishes for me to munch on. We sat down and were greeted with smiley face and a lunch menu special. We both ordered fajitas. I also ordered a pineapple aqua fresca, and my friend an horchata. He brought us fresh chips and some of the best salsa I've ever tasted. Additionally, he brought us cut carrots and celery drenched in lime juice and sprinkled with chili powder. Then, huge heapings of fajita fixings found its way to our table. The seasoning was amazing, and I was happily in my element as I smeared beans, guacamole, sour cream, and chicken all over my flour tortillas. The waiter/owner refilled my pineapple fresca on the house. I told him he was so cute, and we would be coming back and telling everyone in sight how great the place was.

After the yummy dinner, we wandered around (where I gawked at chocolate/sweet shops), and she found herself such a great place to live. For a moment, I wondered if I should just pack it up and move into the city instead of a different coast, but as I thought about it a second longer, the thought passed.

10 hours after the day began, I am finally home and in relaxation mode. Tonight will spent finishing the large amount of homework due next week. Seriously, why was it necessary to pile us up with homework the first week?

Still off the smokes. I called my friend last night in freak out mode. I felt the blood pulsing through my body, and I so badly wanted to suck on a cigarette. I ended up taking a really hot shower, and I felt much better after that. I still believe quitting smoking is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, and yes that includes moving across the country to CA, where I knew no one and had two duffel bags.

Finish homework, or watch crappy tv? Crappy tv may win this battle for now.

Screamin'

Yesterday was by far the worst day of quitting cigarettes hell. I did something I have never done before -- I started screaming. I mean just wailing and screaming in my car, with my white knuckles clutching the steering wheel. As Against Me! screamed of being an anarchist, I screamed of the pain of withdrawal. The singer and I screamed in pain together, albeit completely different types of pain.

As I walked to campus, I called a friend who has been smoke-free for 6 months. She was not there, but her amazing partner answered and cooed and soothed me over the phone, letting me know that the pain I was feeling was normal and expected. I felt the blood rushing from my head back down and up again as she was talking. Finally, I felt calm enough to get into the elevator for class. Mind you, as soon as I hop in an elevator all thoughts turn to earthquakes and an escape plan. God, please let me be on the other coast before a big one hits here.

After class, I went to the gym. The scale said I gained weight again, that bastard. I was not happy with that at all, so I ran my little heart out on the machine. It was really late by this point, and I couldn't do the weights.

The week has gone by like a whirlwind, yet it feels like the longest week I've had in a long time. It's so strange. I love the probate teacher. I listened to his voice, and immediately fell in love with this man. He was from where I want to move, I just knew it. When he told us the expectations for class and ended with a "Capeesh?" I needed to know where my new lover/professor was from. So, like the fool that I am, I went straight up to him and asked if he was from **. He laughed and told me I hit it right on the head. I told him I wanted to move there. So, now I have the ball rolling. Maybe teacher can hook me up with contact when I move.

Had an amazing sex dream last night. It's been a long time, since I've had one of those. Just straight up..it was a great way to start off my morning. Now, I'm off for a physical with Doc and then in for a full day of work.

OH GOD, SOMEONE KILL ME NOW.

That is all. Anyone have a smoke?

Day 2

Nicotine gum is officially my favorite thing, ever ever. Besides the extra burping, I am happy to report that I am not having any crazy side effects. Well, I shouldn't be so cavalier...this morning, I woke up with a very runny nose and brought a roll of toilet paper to work with me. The drip is gone though, and happily chewing my way through the day. I had waves of trippy moments, when I felt sort of a little dizzy and light headed, and then it would go away. So far so good, so I'm not going to go on too much about should I fail.

Tonight was the first night of classes for this (and my last) semester of my paralegal program. The class is a discovery and trial preparation class, which is a pretty handy, and necessary class for paralegal studies. The teacher...eh, a little too early to say. But on Day 1, she launched into all kinds of lectures, and I do enjoy a teacher who has the courtesy to slowly bring you into his or her class, then knock you on your ass. There were two "know-it-all" girls in the class. Every class has to have at least one, but I was blessed with two. As the girls in turn showed the teacher how much more they knew than her, my friend and I rolled our eyes. The grading system is based on assignments and participation, rather than tests, which is a huge hoorah for me. So, I'll attempt not to judge too quickly and hope for the best. Tomorrow is probate, and I received my textbook in the mail today, which means reading two chapters in preparation for tomorrow's class. I have two classes with this guy, and I've heard all kinds of mixed reviews about him, so I'm interested in seeing what he's all about!

Plane ticket purchased - check
Pizza belly gone - check
Good work out at the gym - check

After a good night with some good people, good beer, and good french fries, I went home in good spirits. I enjoy nights like that, where a couple of people just hang out, get some beer, and shoot the shit.

I woke up in not so good spirits this morning though. I ate my apple and peanut butter, went to the gym, and read some LOTR during Da Vinci Code commercial breaks. Oh the movie just is painful to watch, yet I can't help myself. Tom Hanks? Audrey Tatou? What happened guys?

I came home and surfed one of my favorite moving sites for inspiration. I came across a serial poster's post about quitting smoking. I saw the post had been moved to another forum, and I went on over there to check out it. This serial poster, as far as I can gather, is a middle aged woman who overcame crack addiction and is now a heavy weight lifter. Her post was about how hard it is to quit smoking. I was intrigued and continued reading. She ranted and raved and emotionally freaked out via internet, and I felt that woman's pain. I read on as she posted update throughout the day about her moods and the continuing days thereafter. Inspired, I threw on my jeans and tee, grabbed the cell phone and headed out the door. I called my dad and told him I was on the way to the store to buy nicotine gum and some patches. I whined about how expensive it all was. He told me it was more expensive to buy a new lung. Zing!

I walked the mile to the store, driven by my desire to try out the gum and patch, while my dad was on the phone cheering me on. I could have been running the 5k. $80 bucks later, I was back on the road with a bag full of anti-nicotine armor. This was several hours ago.

Presently, my dishes are cleaned, my room is spotless, and I have everything prepared for my first day of school tomorrow. I was talking to my mom on the phone about it. She was a smoker for 30 years and quit cold turkey. Just one day, she decided to quit and she did. I have nightmares that she steals cigarettes from me, and get totally freaked out. She told me about our cousin in NY who is bipolar and does all kinds of wild stuff. My mom talked to her dad, my uncle "L" who received a call from the French Embassy. Apparently my cousin flew to Paris, but could not afford to fly back. Uncle L bought her a plane ticket back, and she is now back in the good old US of A. I told my mother immediately that I too was bipolar, and if the urge hits for me to fly around the world, then it's not my fault. She didn't buy it.

Back to quitting smoking. So, I've been going back and forth about the quitting thing for quite some time. I thought with school pressure and moving pressure that it would be too much for me to try to quit. But, as I thought about it more, and about starting a new life, I realized I did not want this smoking baggage carried around with me. I mean, I get to my new home, and all is fine and dandy, then I quit, freak out and my new roommates and new employer think I'm a mess? No thanks. I'd rather be a total mess around people who already know me, and will realize that when I flip out, it will be from nicotine withdrawal and not mental instability.

Wish me luck. I'm going to watch some movies and hope to not have an emotional freakout that seems to accompany nicotine withdrawal!

Off the wagon

Last night, I was so wiped out that I didn't cook my dinner. I've been cooking for weeks straight, and I have been really proud of myself for eating more healthy and saving precious cash. But, last night, I hopped on my video game and asked my guild for a vote. Pizza or homecooking? Pizza won the majority (might mention mostly men responded). I ordered a huge pizza with feta and black olives. I ate a lot of that huge pizza and even had a Pepsi with it. I never drink soda. Well, maybe a sip or two here and there, but it's a rarity. After eating pizza and drinking the soda, I waddled to my other computer to play more video games. I dorked it out for quite some time, and felt like barfing the entire time. Pizza+soda+videogames = bad news for me. Being off the wagon for a night never felt so...barfy?

I woke up this morning thinking about my old boss at Philly Connection. Back in college, I did some very stupid stuff, but I made sure my friends were well fed (and myself) were fed for free. I vowed that if I ever become rich, I would mail him money and never tell him why. Not likely to happen, but it was a funny thought to wake up to.

I plan on spending today nursing my pizza/pepsi belly at the gym and getting school supplies. I'm also about to buy my friend's plane ticket. Holy shit.

Down with the sickness

I left work a little bit early yesterday. As much as I was championing myself as a superhero against disease, I think whatever is going around made it's way into my body. I came home and slept for three hours. I was tormented with nightmares about zombies, starring Jennifer Aniston and Charlotte's first husband from Sex in the City. He had red hair and a raging mullet. We were trying to get into some haunted house, but zombies were everywhere. I woke up in a bit of a sweat and stared in the darkness. I haven't had a scary dream in as long as I can remember. I stayed up for a couple of hours and went right back to sleep.

Not feeling much better today. I can feel my head clogging as I type, and looking out at the pounding rain, I imagine the sickness is on its way to get me.

I am a little annoyed at the airlines. I was cruising around, checking out flights from DC to SFO, and there are zero nonstop flights from the airport my friend wants to take. The 2nd choice airport has some nonstops for $300 bucks more. The 3rd airport in DC (and the furthest from friend) has several nonstops at a good price, but he'd rather do a stop over than go to that airport. Oh, so very annoying. Plane ticket will be bought this weekend.

I have a great Brian Froud calendar, and I filled in of my school days on it. We have a five week break in March, and I glared at my calendar thinking that a five week break in March sucks. Why not make it a shorter break and an earlier semester end? School is a true test/exercise in my patience.

I have been in zombie mode again. It could be from getting sick, or could just be that I've been going through my daily motions like Bill Murray from Groundhog Day. I met Bill Murray once at a local neighborhood bar, he was kind of an ass. He did blow me a kiss when I asked for a hug, and everyone passed around his glass of scotch to drink from after he left. But the days consist of work, gym, tv, cruising sites. This is not very exciting at all. I know next week shit will hit the fan with 3 days of traveling into the city for school, so I'm trying to enjoy the next few days of total calmness.

Time to get ready for work!

Nobody nose...

I took my nosering out. I took a good hard look at myself in the mirror, and yoinked that piece of metal right out of my face. Sounds more painful than it was -- there was no pain involved.

I have had my nose pierced 3 times in a period of 10 years. The first time, I was in high school. I wanted a hoop so badly, and visualized a way more awesome me with a nosering. To my father's chagrin, I went out and got myself a nice big hoop, and I wore that sucker proudly until I got a job at Supercuts. Supercuts, being the upscale hair parlor it is, made me take out my pretty ring, and I needed a job. My memory is a little fuzzy, but I do recall the next nosering memory happening in Philly Connection (my college job). The big boss did not approve of my ring, but her son (little boss) did not really care. So, I left my nosering in. I don't remember where or when I got that hoop; it's a gap in memory that I attribute to long nights of bad beer and bongs.

I got my nosering a third time when I first moved to CA. It started off as my ole faithful hoop. It morphed into a stud when I got into management. Studs ok, hoops not, got it. I have never been a fan of the stud. It seems like a wussy way to wear the metal, and my god is it ever so trendy in this neck of my CA woods. Studs were for people who did yoga every night, for people who were on raw foods diets and anal cleansed for fun, for people who attributed everything to a lunar or sun cycle, pretty much, the stud life was not for me. I kept that baby in for years because well dammit, I like metal in my face.

But the other night, while I was giving myself the onceover (looking for aforementioned lost fat), I did not like how it looked anymore. In the last leg of my 20's, my thoughts about family, career, looks, and life has completely morphed. I stare longingly at men in mohawks, but would I date that again -- probably not. As I thought about a future me in my future place, I felt my hand reaching for the metal. My nose looked foreign, and it felt cold and naked. I touched where the cartiidge where metal has taken a home for so many years, and it felt weird. My parents told me that once day I wouldn't want the piercings and tats. I did not believe them. I told them I'll be buried in my metal. I'll never tell them they were right, but the tattoos etched into my skin are happily there, so maybe they were only half right.

Calamari without the curls

I took my friend out to dinner to celebrate her birthday. We went to one of our local favorite Italian haunts. She's a New York gal, and has had food disasters since moving to Marin, but this restaurant always seemed to be ok by her. We started off by ordering a plate of grilled veggies that we could smother in olive oil and salt. With the fresh plate of tomato, fresh mozzarella, zucchini, squash, eggplant, et al, the food was off to a good start. I decided to go with a steak stuffed with fontina and cabbage, and she ordered herself a plate of piping hot fried calamari.

When the calamari arrived, I felt an immediate aversion to it. I don't eat seafood, but I do know calamari is a roundish, curly like food, and this seafood non-delight was straight. She looked at the dish. I looked at the dish. I started digging into my steak (which was just ok), as she tried a bite of her food. She hated it upon first bite. The owner came out to explain that this was a more expensive calamari, and went into a long speech about how the other calamari was shipped from god knows where. We just want regular, cheap, fried calamari, Capeesh?

My food adventures with said friend is always an interesting experience. She says she has been starving since she moved here from NY, and she has yet to find a restaurant that truly pleases her palette. Our misadventures with food are so common, that we thought maybe we should write a guide for east coasters attempting to eat food out west. I always go out to eat with her very prepared for her food to be horribly disgusting and with the ultimate outcome of her not completing a dish. In 6 years, I have yet to see her with a clean plate at a restaurant.

Well, CA, I must say, your idea of bad weather is quite wussy. Growing up with some badass thunderstorms, hurricanes, tornadoes, and lightning, this bad weather just doesn't compare. It's rare out here to have thunder, and I'm sure it will make the local news. There was a moment where I thought we were going to get some real action. It was very still outside, and then all of a sudden the wind started whipping the trees around, and I thought it started hailing. After about 5 minutes of craziness, the air became still again, and it's been calm since.

I got my fix of The Bachelor last night. The bachelor, Jake, is so cute and awesome, and this season is filled with drama trauma with the ladies. What's a guy dating 12 at once and trying to find his wife to do? Michelle went home last night, and I must say, the girl is out of her flipping mind. I would be horrified if I watched myself acting like that on national tv. Maybe it's just some leet editing to make her look supremely crazy, but I saw the crazy in her eyes. I think it will wind up being Ella in the end. The show is much too addictive.

Work was a bit intense today. Boss is still super sick and not in the best of spirits. We got some pretty bad news today that dropped us to our ass, and we will just have to figure out what to do next. Huge, huge bummer and still trying to get it off my mind. Maybe a good late night trip to the gym will do it, but with a belly full of steak, it may be a hard thing to accomplish tonight.

Over and out.