Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

So the bf asked if I was cheating on him last night. I was offended beyond words. He told me it was ok if I was. I was sort of speechless. Apparently, my actions (or non-actions) are making quite an impact.

I've never cheated. This is a large part of the reason I broke up with him way back when, so I could explore a possible relationship. I did not go back with him until that relationship was officially not happening.

It makes me wonder a bit. I mean he knows me very well, probably better than I know myself. So, does me going to the gym and not wanting to make out mean I'm cheating? Maybe he doesn't know me the way he used to, because to say something like that to me, is so far off base, it's ridiculous.

Maybe it's the underwear he found in my car. I mean it was my underwear, and it was only there because the jeans I wore had a lump in the leg, which was a pair of my underwear. I wasn't going to turn around to bring the undies upstairs. I just pulled up my pantleg and the panties rolled out, and I threw them in the car. I don't know.

The boss and I had a good chat today. I let her know that I wanted to take three classes, and we worked out my schedule to make that possible. She asked me if I wanted to move after school. She laughed at me, and said she would believe it when she sees it. Comments like that make me more determined. There is nothing I can't stand more than when someone doesn't believe me when I say I'm going to do something. After discussing it further, I told her again, that after school, I'm leaving. I told her without the bf, I have no reason to be here. She disagreed, which again, set off a trigger in me. She said maybe I'd find the love of my life in CA. I told her I don't want to find anyone out here, I want to LEAVE here. I am so far from family, and really, I have my heart set on it, and I don't think I need to rationalize and justify it to people. It's what I want to do, and that's that.

So we talked about how to replace me. Keep in mind that this isn't happening until late May/early June, but hey, I guess we are very into planning. I run the show there, and have created systems, files, and all kinds of things that work for me as far as organization. I do a lot of work there and maintain it all. She told me she can't imagine doing both of our jobs. I can't imagine that either.

It was hard to go back to work after a nice, extended weekend. But, it's back to the grind. Tomorrow I enroll in classes and wait for the school fun to begin!